I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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