did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
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Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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