Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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