so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
