Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector