Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
