so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
