i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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