Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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