why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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