literally had 100 drinks last night.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
