life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
