Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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