I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize