5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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