he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize