Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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