What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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