it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
