This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
