my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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