Did you just see the Batmobile???
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
