I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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