your room smells of hookers.
And success
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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