I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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