i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
