I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
