I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I deserve this hangover.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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