I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
