he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
