This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
