i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
