is your mom at the bar?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
