she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize