I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
