I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
