Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
