I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize