I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need to stop coming to work sober
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
