Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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