I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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