we made out on top of his cat.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
