My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize