oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I think I just sharted jello shots
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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