His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
