Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
