3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my shit smells like andre
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
