Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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