she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
