how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
