i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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