i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
