I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just high enough for therapy.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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