There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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