I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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