So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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