i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
