he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
