Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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