He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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